Conversations From The Living Room, Part 36: But what about all the GOOD things Hitler did?

“One day, all these books will be yours.”
“I’d like to burn them. ”
“…”
“Not because I’m against learning!”
“No, I get it: You love fire.”
“It would send the wrong message.”
“…”
“The Nazis ruined a lot of things, dad.”

Conversations From The Living Room, Part 35: These Aren’t The Applicants You’re Looking For

“How does that not-the-droid-you’re-looking-for thing work? Some kinda Jedi/Force thing?”
“Yeah. But it only works on the weak-minded. Er, originally.”
“So, Darth Vader’s incompetent at hiring people?”
“What?”
“Well…stormtroopers?”
“I don’t think he’s actually down in HR screening the applicants.”
“…”
“Don’t think about it. Down that road lies nerd-dom.”

Conversations From The Living Room, Part 34: Beating a dead War Horse

“OK, so here’s another problem with War Horse.”
“I’m pretending to be interested.”
“The main character?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s a horse!”
“And?”
“Well, in a dramatic narrative, you want the main character to go through changes. To be different in the end than in the beginning.”
“…”
“And maybe Joey did change from the beginning of the story to the end. But, you know, he’s a horse. It’s not like he can tell us.”
“…”
“And, maybe what he decided was that the Germans had the right idea. He went into the war being pro-English but came out primed to support The Fourth Reich.”
“…”
“I mean, Germans saved him a couple of times! The English sent him to charge against machine guns! We could be viewing this movie all wrong: It might be a demonstration of how Nazi horses are made! Wait, where are you going? You can’t rule out this exegesis just because it makes you uncomfortable!”
“…”
“Stupid Nazi horses.”

Conversations From The Living Room, Part 29: Stacy And Clinton’s Revenge

“Dr. Girlfriend can really wear a deep V.”

“Quoth The Flower. For context, she watches a lot of "What Not To Wear” and has lately been on a “Venture Bros” kick. Dr. Girlfriend typically wears a pink minidress and pillbox hat (imagine a “Sexy Jackie Kennedy” Halloween outfit, or just look here, though she doesn’t know who Jackie O is) but since she married arch-villain The Monarch, she thought she should wear a new outfit as Dr. Mrs. The Monarch.
She then went back to counting all the gay characters in the show. My pride in her was only reflected in my shame over my parenting skills in letting her watch the wildly inappropriate show.

Theological Thoughts

“You know, a lot of Christians talk about how bad-ass Jesus was driving moneychangers from the Temple?”

“Yeah?”
“Yeah! But–I mean, we’re talking about a bunch of Jewish bankers! I could do that with my legs broke and a bad case of mono.”
“No, you’re thinking about it wrong.”
“How so?”
“You’re thinking pin-striped suit financial eggheads.”
“Yeah!”
“Think loan sharks. Lots and lots of loan sharks with enforcers to boot.”
“Word.”
“That’s what they say.”

Conversations From The Living Room, Part 28: I’m a Genius!

[The Barb is wearing her shirt backwards and her grandpa stops her.]

“You’re wearing your shirt backwards!”
“I know! I like it!”
[He tugs her pocket]
“And I guess people behind you could slip stuff into your pocket!”
“No, they can’t!”
“Why not?”
“‘cause I’m a genius!”
“…”
“…”
“What does genius mean?”
“That’s when you sneak and hide and jump out at people!”
“…”
“…”
“You mean, you’re a ninja?
“Yeah!”