Winner: When you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”.
Runner-up (socialists only): When you consume, you make “cons” out of “u” and “me”.
Winner: There is no “I” in “team”.
Runner-up: “Team” is made of “meat”.
Winner: Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t: you’re right.
Runner-up: Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t: Management will stop you.
Winner: Think outside the box.
Runner-up: Don’t you love the wallpaper in here?
Winner: At the end of the day…
Runner-up: At the end of the lunch break…
(I started—and stopped—this a year-and-a-half ago. No idea why I thought it would be good to post now.)