More on Full Frontal Male Nudity

Besides the pointy breast thing and the review of Traci Lords bio whorishly titled “Traci, I Love You”, the other big hit I get is on full frontal male nudity (FFMN for short).

To which I can only say: What the hell is wrong with you pervs?

FFMN is for comedy purposes, and it has to be an organic thing. One simply shouldn’t be trolling the internet looking for it!

I’m s’prised I have to explain this to you people.

What kind of blog do you think this is?

Hats Off, Gentlemen! A Genius!

I haven’t blogged anything about George Carlin’s demise because, really, where do I get off? Arguably the greatest comedian of a generation, and easily the most professional stand-up since the days of Vaudeville.

I mean, he did (by my count) 12 HBO specials in the past 30 years, with virtually all new material every special. 12-18 hours may not seem like a lot, but find a comedian who’s done more. And Carlin’s TV credits go back over ten years further, and I’m pretty sure that was after a decade or more of uncredited work.

The dude was polished. Even if you didn’t like the material, his style was undeniable.

And yet, it can be hard to watch a lot of those shows. The older he got, the angrier he got. The gentler parts of his routines vanished over the years.

I suppose some would argue that his political statements were what made him “important”, insofar as he was, but it seems to me he was at his most brilliant in his whimsical and absurd moments. And when he summed something up about human experience, like the stuff/shit routine and “Everyone driving slower than you is an asshole. Everyone driving faster is a maniac” bit. When he brought us together, in other words.

His political statements–well, to be fair, his most overtly political statements were deliberately crude and dismissive. He saw himself as above those things.

But his socio-political “arguments”, if you want to call them that, were crude in the sense of being at the level of an angry 13-year-old. The perfect role for him was as Cardinal Glick in Kevin Smith’s Dogma, since the “arguments” in that movie are pretty much at the same place. (And I love that movie, but much like a Carlin routine, it’s best when it’s making with the funny, and very weak when the philosophy comes out.)

Even then, though, his delivery was brilliant. And if you agreed with him (see clap humor), his show was great. He was better–and more subversive–than both, because he phrased things in such a way that you often wanted to agree with him.

Another funny thing about Carlin was that, while liberals are often accused of loving Mankind and hating people, Carlin seemed to hate Mankind and love people. That is, his schtick–particularly in the last years–was geared toward how horrible Man was, yet in describing his travels he had nothing but praise for the people he met (cf. Michael Moore).

Regardless of your political orientation, it’s hard to deny the man’s craftsmanship and dedication. The only comparable figure I can think of is the late Johnny Carson–and he was on hundreds of times a year for decades, and never had any forbidden words to fall back on.

I won’t say “Rest In Peace” because that would’ve just pissed him off. And I sure won’t make any comments about heaven. I’ll just say, “Hey, how’s death working out for you?”

Shame he can’t answer. I’m sure it’d be hilarious.

Pizza & Programmers

In an article over at CIO, Esther Schindler wonders about the magic of pizza (and a few other food items) in getting programmers to work overtime. There are some noteworthy things about this.

  1. I should probably be reading CIO more.
  2. Esther, who’s an old pal of mine, is both seriously cute, and seriously technical.
  3. Actually related to the article: Programmers and other IT geeks love what they do.

Right now, what do I do? I design and code software for various purposes, and build special purpose Set-Top Boxes for people (like TiVo on steroids).

If I had all the money in the world, what would I do? Deisgn and code software for various purposes, and build even cooler STBs for people. I’d probably work the content angle harder, too–besides super-powered media devices, people need ways to get unfettered content–and that takes a lot of money, or at least more than I have. (For example, I could build or buy a cable network. That kind of money.)

But the point is, I’d be doing almost exactly the same thing that I’m doing now. It’s like Office Space: “What would you do if you had a million bucks? Apart from two chicks at the same time.” I’d need about two million, I think, what with the family to support, but maybe with the investment stuff I’ve learned I could get by on less. (Heh. Get by on less than a million? Can’t be done!)

I know programmers better than other classes of Information Technology types, and I’ve never known one worth a damn that didn’t spent considerable amounts of their free time working on other (non-work) projects.

To give you a personal example, I was heavily into music in my teens and early 20s (as many of us are), and played guitar, keyboards, etc. I also wrote a program that allowed me to create musical scores. This was before there were many of these, sure, but even now, I might pick up one of the modern tools and dislike something about it, and my reaction would be to write my own. That’s what programming geeks do.

I waxed a bit on D&D in an earlier post this week: I can’t tell you how many D&D related programs I wrote in my youth, other than “a lot”.

In my martial arts years, I wrote a program to manage tournaments. It was awesome. Anyone who’s ever been to a karate tournament in particular, and probably most sporting events, knows how poorly organized they are. My sensei told me to slow things up because I was moving people through so fast, there wasn’t enough time to sell them concessions (which is a big revenue generator at tournaments).

This really isn’t all that unusual among craftsmen. I have a friend who’s a master woodworker. He might go to Ikea to pick up a lawn chair, if he really doesn’t care about it. But most likely, he’s gonna build what he wants, exactly as he wants it, to exactly suit his needs. That’s what he does.

So, back to the pizza point: Basically, we’re going to be coding because that’s what we love to do. But we don’t like to be taken advantage of any more than anyone else, though we’re probably less aware of it. Little, consistent gestures, such as pizza, sodas, snacks, oddball breaks–other stuff I outline in my CIO article–all tend to reflect an appreciation.

There’s an ego issue, too. We all have war stories. Overtime is part of the culture, and if you’re being productive, is its own kind of bliss. Think not of teamsters for whom overtime is an excuse to bump the paycheck, think of Michelangelo slaving over the Sistine Chapel. I once stayed at a job, ooh, eight months longer than I knew I should have because I wanted to finish the project.

There was huge, huge stress in my life as a result. I ended up out of work right about the time the tech bubble burst. Hell, I ended up in court as a result. But I’d been nursing some ideas about–well, something really, really technical–and had designed all kinds of theories around this thing, and I was just so, so close to testing them out.

This led to some of the worst times in my life and yet, if I had to do it all over again, I might just.
I ended up proving to my satisfaction the feasibility and limitations of the ideas, and developed a system that was gratifyingly high-performance and low-cost. (Smarter now, I hope, I’d probably just ditch the whole situation and applied the theories elsewhere.)

Note Google’s extremely clever “free day”. A job where I’m encouraged to pursue some wild hare? Oh, yeah!

So, it’s not a really big mystery. It’s just the threshold for getting geeks to work overtime is lower. You can get a lot of mileage handing out cash, and raises and bonuses (bonii!) sure don’t hurt, but pizza can make the office a nicer place to be, without necessitating budgetary oversight, etc.

Two things execs don’t understand about geeks: 1) What they do or can do, so they often just completely misuse them; 2) That they love doing it, and really need oversight the other way. (At Melissa & Doug’s toy company, for example, they pretty much make you go home at six, I’m told.)

I’ve made the comparison before to musicians–you can almost always get musicians to work for free food–and it’s apt. Although, of course, musicians are more likely to actually be starving.

Return of the Pointy Breasts

Given that the #1 source of hits on this site persist in being the pictures of Faith Domergue and Janet Leigh–poor Carole Landis can’t get no love–and the phrase “pointy breasts” or “pointed breasts”, I thought I would continue into this fascinating anthropological phenomenon.

Submitted for your approval: Clare Grant

Clare Grant is a relatively little known actress whose website pictures focus on her beautiful and haunting eyes. You can see a particularly breathtaking shot at this photographer’s site which hints at…well, the conical glands that are the focus of so much internet interest.

But we don’t have to guess (and a Google image with safe-search off will reveal) because the lovely Ms. Grant appears more or less starkers in the second season “Masters of Horror” episode, “Valerie on the Stairs”. (You can find those pix on the web if you’re so inclined as well.)

One of the things the MoH series does well is bring back that kind-of-erotic-but-mostly-creepy nudity that made VCRs so popular in the ‘80s. Ms. Grant’s loveliness is contrasted with her demon-sex-scenes in the Clive Barker tale of writers’ imaginations gone amok. It’s an okay episode of the generally less interesting second season, but it’s made infinitely more watchable by this young actress.

EDIT: Shortly before I posted this, someone actually did surf here for the Carole Landis picture! But Leigh and Domergue are battling out for the majority of the hits. (I refuse to make the obvious rhyme here.)

“So, what else is on your mind?

Besides 100 proof women,
90 proof whiskey
and 14 karat gold?“

"Amigo, you just wrote my epitaph.”

That’s Burt Lancaster responding to Lee Marvin in Richard Brooks’ The Professionals.

This movie came up on one of Trooper York’s “Best Westerns” threads, and it’s underrated on IMDB with a 7.3.

TCM is doing a “tough guys” thing tonight. Previous was Seven Samurai, next up is The Dirty Dozen.

Lee Marvin really wasn’t someone I thought much of growing up, probably because we seemed to forget how to make the sorts of movies he was good in. (Delta Force and The Dirty Dozen sequel, e.g.)

This is such a man’s man’s movie, that there are only two women and both are built like brick houses. Claudia Cardinale, of course, who smokes, smoulders and pouts so well, you almost don’t notice she has an awful heavy Italian accent for a Mexican girl, and Marie Gomez, who does a great job as the girl who never says no. She was nominated for a Golden Globe as “Most Promising Newcomer” but her career never took off.

I guess ‘cause of the glut of gorgeous large-breasted hispanic women in Hollywood in the ’60s and ’70s.

(The Boy thinks it was too slow. The action parts were great but too far in-between.)

Who is the tall dark stranger there?

Maverick is his name.

(h/t Ace of Spades.)

I’m not voting for McCain. McCain/Feingold cinched that for me, and it didn’t help that later McCain said he’d take corruption-free politics over the First Amendment (as if that weren’t paradoxical).

Also, the Reps need to be spanked hard. Spanked until all the old-school pork-eating, we-had-ten-years-to-reform-things-but-preferred-lining-our-pockets, let’s-do-something-about-nothing neurotic, psychoitic pig-headed politicians (apologies to John Lennon) fall are shook loose.

I’ve been hearing the various partisans on Althouse talk with complete certainty about which is bigger: The pissed off Dems or the the pissed off Reps, and I don’t know. Someone over there said it was liberating to not like either candidate. I suppose that’s true, but since I’ve yet to really like a serious Presidential candidate, I don’t find it all that free.